When I was a little more than one year old my Grandma Eileen made me a magic book about a week I spent with both sets of my grandparents. I’ve kept it all these years and now I think it serves as the book which defines what Eileen Divine who lived life to its fullest from 1922 to 2022, thinks is Magic.
Magic was spending time with family, going to the beach, to the zoo, watching a family of ducks or a sunset, collecting sea shells, and stopping to smell the roses.
Grandmas tell it like it is and share their points of view as hard-learned or earned truths. My Grandma Eileen’s points of view showed up as a clear belief system that covered everything from faith in God to staying up late and sleeping in, chocolate as a food group, and the unwavering belief that a banana split was an acceptable dinner based on it being a source of fruit, protein and calcium.
Let me share some of the strong beliefs, moments, and memories that comprised 100 years of magic:
She believed in family. One of three kids, mother of two, grandmother of four, great grandmother of 7 (and counting), aunt of three, great aunt of 11, great grand aunt of 5…and so much more. Her definition of family was broad and inclusive, she loved my mom’s parents and my in-laws as much as anyone else and considered herself grateful.
She believed in God. When asked about her longevity, she attributed it to prayer. She told us she’d prayed for all of us each night. For our marriages or relationships, our children, our happiness, and our health. When my husband Jay’s broken foot healed in a shorter time than anticipated, she smiled and casually reminded me she prayed for us every night.
She believed being a fan of a sports team was important, and that it was a two-way relationship. She loved the game of baseball most of all. A devoted season ticket holder for many years, she believed in arriving early to see the warm up and the national Anthem, in the strength of a whole team, and in a standing ovation for the starting pitcher when it was time for them to jog to the dugout and the reliever to be sent in. She believed in sunscreen for day games, stadium blankets for evening games, and cracker jacks for all games (brought in her purse, from her bulk supply at home).
She believed in staying till the end of the game no matter what. She and my grandfather both believed that when a team was down, that’s when they needed their fans the most. They would organize Padres fan trips and I can remember staying at a game vs. the Expos in Montreal till 1 in the morning.
She believed in her team, the San Diego Padres, and every year had hope this would be their year. She listened to all their games on the radio religiously and followed every season.
She believed in her country. A wife of a two-time war veteran and mother of a veteran, she believed military service was worth our gratitude and she’d take every opportunity to stop and thank anyone she saw in uniform for their service. Fiercely patriotic, she proudly hung a flag outside her home and extended red, white and blue fashion from Memorial Day to Labor Day.
She believed in breakfast, for any meal or time of day. She loved having brunch after Church on Sundays, and I have so many memories of having it at her house or going to Denny’s. She believed in hot coffee and crisp bacon and ordered (and evaluated) it as such. The last time I was out to eat with my grandmother and her sister, my Great Aunt Margaret, they ordered breakfast for dinner. Grandma Eileen had to order sausage with hers because the waitress confessed their bacon wasn’t crisp.
She believed that looking good was feeling good. She believed in boots with a heel, in a good manicure, in wearing color. In her older years she loved a hat. She was always one of the best dressed, most beautiful women in any room.
She believed in a good hair day. Every. Day. She wore a wig for a good part of her life, always having a gorgeously coifed blond head of hair. It was her signature. When Jay and I got engaged around the holidays we got back home at 1 the morning and my Aunt Karen and my Grandma were just getting to bed, the nightbirds that they were. They jumped for joy with the news of our engagement – my Aunt Karen exclaimed she’d get the champagne, my Grandma said she’d put on her hair. We toasted to love and life.
She believed in love and great love stories. Her love story with my grandpa was larger than life. She saw those stories everywhere. Countless times she grabbed my hand and pointed out that my husband was a sweet man, a great dad, and she was so happy I had found great love.
She believed in music and its power to transport you. She played the piano beautifully and could improvise a beautiful melody. At her retirement home she played the clavinova. She had a regular “gig” playing before lunch and dinner, and for special occasions. When my grandfather was living with Alzheimer’s she realized that music was one of the rare things that could bring him back to her and happier times. Long after he had passed she would play and sing at the Glenner’s Alzheimer’s center for the patients. I went and saw one of her performances and saw firsthand how her playing the songs of their prime transformed an entire room of blank stares into joyful smiles. Two people stood up and danced. My grandmother beamed with joy. I cried with pride.
She believed that travel was good for you. To go and see places you hadn’t been, meet new people, and try new food. After retirement, She and my Grandfather would go to Europe and drive around for 3 months in a VW bus, and then return and open their own travel agency. Years after my grandfather passed she would continue to travel. I remember my mom and I went with her to a seminar to hear Rick Steves the popular Europe through the backdoor author speak. She said just sitting there pondering a trip was the beginning of the adventure.
She believed in friendship and coming together for a good party. In her own house she served carrot sticks and celery with ice cubes on top to keep everything crisp and cold. My aunt Karen and I accompanied my grandmother to her 70th high school reunion in Indiana. I met them in Indianapolis, we visited our family, and then we drove 100 miles to the little town of Argos for the event. Grandma Eileen was the belle of the ball and was on cloud nine seeing friends. Later that evening we checked into our highway motel, the type that’s a setting for horror movies, and had to drive three counties to find wine for sale. Back at the hotel room, sitting on the double beds, we ate our cheese and crackers, and toasted with our Styrofoam cups. My grandmother was beaming, and she said she loved a good party.
She believed in sending hand-written cards to say thank you, say hello, celebrate a birthday or holiday. She also loved getting cards and kept cards we sent her. My brother Brian would include psalms in his cards to her, and will always hold the highest honor. His cards were always on the top of the giant stack of cards she had.
She believed in herself. She walked with her head held high, never making excuses for anything.
I asked her once at the travel agency who was the boss, her or my grandpa? She said they both were. She made being the boss look fun and I would pretend to take phone calls and bang out the calculated cost of trips with red construction-paper nails taped to my fingers.
I will always remember and cherish the magic. Of a person who threw herself into life, was generous with love, and knew how to savor life’s magic, even if it was simply a hot cup of coffee.
Happy Birthday, Grandma Eileen.